My January Wrap-Up

21:30

In my last blog post on my hopes for the new year, I mentioned not having a Goodreads goal this year and despite the little widget on the right hand-side that tells you otherwise, I don't have one. I randomly punched in a number when Goodreads prompted me to set a goal because it's easier to keep track of what I've read, how many I've read over time, and also because I thought it'd be nice for you guys to keep up with my book count - just because. Other than that though, I'm not really trying to read a certain number of books by December.

I cram-read so many books last year that I couldn't keep up. I was finishing one book on the train and immediately hitting that "home" button my Kindle, and opening up another one of my pre-downloaded books. Within seconds, I was in a different world than the one I had just been in, understanding new characters. and grasping a new story line. Don't get me wrong, I loved it. There's a strange adrenaline rush in being so caught up in hundreds of alternate universes. But at the same time, I want to slow it down this year and take my time reading a book just because I want to without obsessing over racing towards its finish line. I want to space out and lose myself in it, wholly immerse myself and then nurse my book-hangover instead of immediately picking up another book. I want to read the paperbacks that are collecting dust on my bookshelf for an hour before bed instead of speed-reading on my Kindle.

And I guess this is the start of that. January was a slow month for me because I had two weeks of exams but in-between, I did get some reading done in my revision breaks (and with strict reading restrictions I imposed upon myself), these are the books that I got through.



Solitaire
- by Alice Oseman

4.0/5.0 stars

~

I spontaneously bought this book when I was down in Gloucester staying with my grandparents over Christmas break. We had gone into town in the evening, and it was one of those proper winter evenings where there's a cold chill with the sky a beautiful blue-turning-to-indigo, and it's all so postcard-perfect with the Christmas tree in the centre of the square surrounded by the pretty Christmas lights that glow in the falling night. And we came across this quaint little bookshop that you simply couldn't walk past without entering - and I simply couldn't leave without buying a book. There is a story behind Solitaire sitting on my bookshelf. And for that reason alone, I love this book.


The quaint little bookshop in Gloucester town 


The blurb intrigued me. So ambiguous, so vague, so many burning questions, I was pulled in before I even opened the book. And I think if you're going to read it, go into it just like that.


I don't ever remember not being serious. As far as I'm concerned, I came out of the womb spouting cynicism and wishing for rain.

My name is Tori Spring. I like to sleep and I like to blog. Last year, I had friends. Things were very different, I guess, but that's all over now.

Now there's Solitaire. And Michael Holden.

I don't know what Solitaire are trying to do. And I don't care about Michael Holden. I really don't.


Alice Oseman did a fantastic job with her writing. If I were to describe her debut novel in one word, it would be honest. Tori's narrative is engaging and very real. I felt like I could relate to her on so many levels; as an introvert who's struggling with life, she voiced so many of my own thoughts and fears and granted she may be fictional, but it was reassuring to see someone else experience what I did, and still do sometimes, even if she is just a character inked on a page. Oseman captures her internal battles so strongly and vividly, that Tori is simply one of the most realistic characters I've read in fiction. She also creates wonderful relationships between so many of the other characters and my God has she done the best job with Michael. His characterisation is genius. Such a complex, multi-dimensional character that is so fun to read about and without any of the stereotypes in the YA genre, he is the star of this show. As she weaves her brilliant characters into a mysterious (ish) story line, she tackles some difficult real-life issues, and subtly ties in elements that make this story a poignant and significant read. I was a teenager not so long ago. And it felt like those years had been plucked straight out of my head and exposed to the world. Refreshing, brutally honest, and brimming with literary flair, it was a damn good read to kick off my year.

Sidenote: when I went to Goodreads to rate it, I found out that Alice Oseman, like myself, is a 1994 girl. She had Solitaire published when she was 19. And that revelation left me pretty stunned. With a deeply touching story and a level of character development that so many hyped books written by established authors have failed to deliver time and time again, I never could have guessed that it was written by someone my own age, two years ago. I applaud her talent (and her faith in her writing, her love for it, and the guts to pursue her dream of then getting it published). I think she's my new inspiration.


"But books - they're different. When you watch a film, you're sort of an outsider looking in. With a book - you're right there. You are inside. You are the main character" ~ Tori



Forget Me Not
- by Luana Lewis
2.5/5.0 stars

~

Rose's daughter Vivien has an eight year old daughter, a doting husband, and the perfect marriage. But when her body is found cold and motionless in the bathtub and her death is ruled as a suicide, Rose can't help but wonder how much she didn't know about her own daughter's life. As she digs up Vivien's secrets, the mystery surrounding her death escalates into a murder investigation and as the two collide, Rose finds herself uncovering truths that were better left hidden, and piecing together the haunting reality of Vivien's life - and death.

Once again, I'm finding myself in the minority, rating a book miles lower than the rest of the bookish population. And I think Forget Me Not rang similar to Girl On The Train. It just didn't live up to expectations. The plot was okay - the lead-up to discovering what really happened to Vivien is interesting enough but I started to get bored very quickly and it didn't help that I didn't like any of the characters. I couldn't connect to Rose nor Vivien and so naturally, it meant that I couldn't emotionally invest in their story. The secondary characters were poorly developed and the only intriguing angle was Vivien's best friend Chloe but that never really took off so in the end, her role in the story just didn't have a point. And ultimately, the ending was hugely anti-climactic and all I could think was "is that it?". Poorly executed crime/thriller/mystery.




Don't Stand So Close
- by Luana Lewis

2.0/5.0 stars

~

You might be wondering, why, after that debacle of a novel I read, I decided to read another book by Luana Lewis. Maybe I hoped that she could have done this premise justice. Maybe I just wanted to kill time on the train. Maybe it was the last book left unread on my Kindle at that moment in time. Maybe all of the above. Suffice to say, it disappointed. Again.

Stella never leaves her house; severely agoraphobic and suffering from depression and anxiety, she has been isolated in the house that she shares with her husband Max, for three years. But on a cold winter night when she is snowed in and Max is away for the night, a girl by the name of Blue turns up outside her door, begging to be let in. Against her better judgement, Stella lets her in - and immediately regrets it as Blue lets slip little secrets and spins a web of lies about the person she loves the most in the world. As the night progresses, Stella has to sift through Blue's inconsistent stories to try and unravel the truth that is buried deep, but as she does so, she finds her past catching up with her and the world that she has kept so carefully controlled, is about to come undone.

An agoraphobic psychologist who's on an array of anti-depressants; her husband who spends nights away from his isolated wife and whose secrets a fifteen year old seems to possess; and said fifteen year old who is on medication for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia, who's run away from home, and has pitched up at Stella's door to throw her world into chaos. A recipe for disaster - and a bloody intriguing premise for a psychological thriller. It had a pretty great start and the alternating narratives were each gripping in their own sense; we learn about Stella's past and the events that lead to her current day state, we sit in the sessions between an unnamed girl and her psychologist, and we follow the night's events as Stella uncovers Blue's motives. But just like in Forget Me Not, the ending fell flat. Lewis has done a pretty good job in creating the suspense and mystery for the plot, and with her unreliable narrators, she sets up a disturbing and confusing read as we try to piece the clues together. But then all the loose ends come together in one big anti-climactic showdown that's not even a twist in the slightest for God's sake and my word it's frustrating because there are endless psychologically exciting routes she could have taken with the plot, but she just didn't, and she basically ruined all the promise this book had and it was so damn annoying.

I need to go back to the wonderfully skilled authors of crime like Jeffery Deaver and Patricia Cornwell and Harlen Coben. They are the masters of psychological thrillers and crime. And if you haven't read any of their stuff, I highly recommend you do so. You'll have the time of your life.




 It's A Wonderful Death
- by Sarah J. Schmitt

3.5/5.0 stars

~

I have been dying to read It's A Wonderful Death for ages! (See what I did there?). It had such an interesting premise and when I did get round to reading it, it proved to be a solid read.

Seventeen year old RJ is at a carnival when her soul is accidentally taken by a distracted Grim Reaper. Always used to getting what she wants, she demands that he returns her soul to her lifeless body that she floats above. But there is no reversing death. Reluctantly taken to the afterlife, she argues and fights for her mortality and in doing so, becomes the bargaining chip in a power struggle between a bitter archangel, and Death Himself. RJ then goes on trial where her fate is debated; she can either choose to live out the remainder of her original written life in the lobby of the afterlife - where souls await processing - or re-visit and re-write three moments of her past that will alter the course of her life, making it worthy of being saved. Settling for the latter, RJ finds herself on a path to change her future, but it proves to be more difficult than she thought and as she faces some uncomfortable truths about the person she was growing up to be, her decision to re-enter the mortal world begins to waver and she wonders if it's truly worth living out the life she is destined to live. Will she make the right decision, or is this queen bee already far beyond her redemption?

RJ is a self-confessed mean girl; top of the high school hierarchy, she is stubborn, sarcastic and selfish, but there was a real authenticity to her voice and her narrative is hilariously entertaining. But she is also self-absorbed and sometimes, horrible to people without even being aware of it. Watching her re-live and re-write some of those moments where the smallest of her actions had devastating consequences, made for a significant read. I like that the author brings to light how every word and every action of ours has an impact and being able to change even the tiniest, seemingly insignificant moments, can have a domino effect to ultimately irretrievably change not just your life, but also the lives you touch. Her story of redemption was pretty profound, and it hit all the right notes with that bitter-sweet ending.

Sarah J Schmitt did such a fab job in bringing this book to life. Her vision of the afterlife is so enjoyable to read; as a believer of the afterlife, it was interesting to read about it from a fictional angle but more than that, she's made it a vividly colourful, humorous place with memorable characters, and I think she did it with great flair. And what a unique concept; I mean, travelling through the afterlife following a botch-job by a Grim Reaper and re-writing the course of your life to make it worth living, so that Death Himself can send you back to the mortal world? That screams originality. The plot from start to finish was a breath of fresh air.

My only regret is that it's young adult; had it been adult fiction, it would have easily been a 5-star read. But if you're looking for something light and entertaining, this wonderfully told story is worth picking up.

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Dash & Lily's Book of Dares
- by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan

3.0/5.0 stars

~

Well, if this wasn't cuteness overload. I'm a sucker for cute contemporaries. They're my total guilty pleasure and this one was no exception.

Dash & Lily's Book of Dares begins when Dash discovers a little red notebook that Lily has left for someone to find in his favourite bookstore. In it, she has written dares for the right guy to stumble upon, and keep up with; and Dash is more than happy to oblige. So begins the journey of the little red notebook across New York as Lily and Dash trade secrets, challenges, and dares, but their connection through words is tested when they meet in person; is Dash truly perfect for Lily, and is Lily truly meant for Dash, or are these two pieces of a messy puzzle never meant to fit?

A whirlwind romance in New York is my ultimate dream. Complete with a Tiffany's ring at Christmas time? *swoon*

I digress (disclaimer: this book does not feature a happily-ever-after with a Tiffany ring proposal because, I mean, that's demanding a hell of a lot of commitment from two sixteen year olds). But I think it's easy to say that the sound of this fairy tale romance was music to my ears. And it is very fairy tale-esque. Dash and Lily's adventures in New York at Christmas time were so much fun to read, even more so because the characters were so likeable. Dash is everything. He's a bibliophile and incredibly well-read and so he is snarky and articulate and pretentious-bordering-on-arrogant but he's also loyal and smart and thoughtful. Wait - guys like this exist?!? And then there's sweet sweet Lily who's quirky and unconventional, yet comfortable in her own skin, and she's also wicked funny and sarcastic and oh so caring. I love that Dash took on Lily's challenges without a second thought and the dares, secrets, and thoughts that they share in the notebook that they trade back and forth, whilst outright hilarious more often than not, are deep and meaningful and I love the journey that their words took them on. An easy, fluffy, I-shouldn't-like-this-but-I-do young adult contemporary that makes you wish you were that nervy at sixteen in an attempt to find your soulmate. (And one that makes you wish you were there, in New York, at Christmas) *sighs*

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My Story
- by Steven Gerrard
5.0/5.0 stars

~

I remember once upon a time, in Year 9, having to write a piece for English Language, on who my role model is; why I look up to them, why I appreciate their values, what I take away from their life. Having just read Steven Gerrard: My Autobiography at the time, my chosen person was a no-brainer. And now, having read the last page of Steven Gerrard: My Story, I understand why, so many years ago, he struck me as a role model. Almost a decade later, I stand by it. His story is incredibly moving, his philosophy so inspiring, and fresh off the back of his shock departure from Liverpool, his career legendary - to the point of heart-breaking.

Full review here



The Last Time We Say Goodbye
- by Cynthia Hand

4.0/5.0 stars

~

The Last Time We Say Goodbye hit me hard. It hit me hard because I have a younger brother and the thought of losing him is unimaginable. Thinking of a life without him makes my heart stand still and my blood run cold. And so as I read Lex's story, I felt her grief as if it were my own.

Lex is eighteen when her brother, Tyler, commits suicide and her world falls apart. Written from her perspective, The Last Time We Say Goodbye documents her journey as she tries to come to terms with his death, and in doing so, showcases that when Tyler took away his own life, he stole the life of all those he left behind. Lex's narrative was difficult to read. It was hard to take in the magnitude and intensity of her shattering grief. In it's simplicity, her words are raw and heart-breaking and whilst we read about her internal struggles and watch her world crumbling, it opens up Lex's past with the diary entries in her journal as she tries to express on paper the grief and guilt that consumes her. Not only do we get to see the wonderful relationship that Lex has with Tyler, but we also see the darkness that swallowed him whole in the moments that preceded his death.

I don't think I've seen an author translate grief from mind to paper with the talent that Cynthia Hand has. Lex's journey of acceptance and forgiveness is tragic and beautiful, and realistic to the point where you will pray that you don't live to see your sibling lose their life. One of those rare, beautiful books that words can do no justice - and you just hope that other people will pick it up and feel the immense weight of this book the way you did.

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I Now Pronounce You Someone Else
- by Erin McCahan

2.5/5.0 stars

~

After reading her Love and Other Foreign Words and completely loving it, I thought I'd give another one of her books a whirl with the hope that it'd have the same effect. It didn't.

I Now Pronounce You Someone Else is the story of eighteen year old Bronwen who is convinced that she has been adopted. She feels like she's a detached part of her family with whom she has nothing in common and more often than not, is on a different wavelength to them. Then she meets Jared Sondervan; charming and funny with a beautiful way with words, he is everything she has ever wanted. And his family, accepting and understanding, are everything her family is not. The more time she and Jared spend time together, the more they fall in love, and so when Jared proposes to her, Bronwen happily says yes. But in their naivety, they overlooked just how much they are at different points in their lives, and Bronwen soon realises that she needs to find herself before she can become someone else's.

One of the great things about Love and Other Foreign Words was the way it made me laugh out loud - multiple times - with a brilliant heroine brimming with quirkiness, charm and wit. In I Now Pronounce You Someone Else, those features fell flat. I couldn't connect with Bronwen at all. I actually didn't like her. Her quirks came off as rude and abrupt as opposed to adorable and charming and it got to a point where it was just annoying. Jared on the other hand - what a sweetheart. He is so sincere and so in love and I swear all the little things he did for Bronwen made the hopeless romantic in me swoon time and time again. It wasn't healthy. The plot though, I couldn't buy into it. Their romance just moved way too fast and before I knew what was happening, he'd proposed, she'd said yes, and their families (although questioned their decision a little initially) were totally on board. It was all too unrealistic and up in the air for me. 2.5 stars for Jared, and for the thought-provoking message of being your own person before being someone else's that resounded meaningfully with the ending of this book and which I think the author actually did a great job of executing.



It's Not Me, It's You
- by Mhairi McFarlane

5.0/5.0 stars

~

There's a story behind the purchase of It's Not Me, It's You. I went book-hauling with my best friend the night before Christmas Eve and we were having the perfect winter walk, popping into little vintage shops that were over-flowing with pretty things and tucked away in narrow cobbled streets that were dimly lit by street lanterns. And then. And then we found this tiny hidden little bookshop with it's old-fashioned door, and cramped book aisles, and it had the actual smell of book pages. You know, that rustic, vintage smell that is just...BOOKS. And it had everything from children's fiction, to military history, to old vinyl records of The Beatles, to graphic novels and comic books. Battered copies of Enid Blyton to first editions of classics, and a freaking limited edition of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban in a freaking glass case.

Ohmyword.

It. Was. Heaven.

Then on our bookish travels, we wandered into this treasure of a bookshop that were selling all sorts of random titles and we just couldn't resist flicking through them and buying whatever caught our fancy. So I picked up It's Not Me, It's You and it intrigued my friend too and we thought what the hell, let's buy the same chick lit cause why not. (She read it before I did and said fabulous things about it so naturally, I couldn't wait to get round to it). And when I did, I was so bloody happy that the cover caught my eye on the evening on December 23rd because this has to be one of my favourite titles on my bookshelf.

It's Not Me, It's You is about Delia, who proposes to Paul, her boyfriend of 10 years, and he says yes. That very night, he accidentally sends the wrong text - meant for his mistress - to a shocked Delia. As she processes his words, the penny drops - he's been sleeping with someone else. Confused and hurt, she moves back in with her parents and brother, but when Paul keeps trying to make pathetic excuses and win her back, she decides that she needs a change of scenery. After a little persuasion and a ballsy move, she flees to London to live with her best friend and build a new life - but when she is thrown into the hustle and bustle of the capital city and a new job that hurtles her into a world she never imagined she would be a part of, Delia must decide if she is ready to leave behind her old life, and take risks that will change everything.

This book was bloody brilliant. I can't tell you how good it felt to sit in bed with a book in my hands, reading for hours, completely lost in a story and losing all sense of time. (I did have a stiff neck because of it but yknow, it's a price worth paying). It was such a fun, adventurous story that I enjoyed reading so much, I wish I could go back and read it again for the first time. The characters are so likeable and quirky, each entertaining in their own right. And I loved Delia as a heroine; she's strong and determined, and while she works through her confusion and tries new things, her character growth really stood out. The hero. The hero. God I can't explain how much I loved him and the witty, back-and-forth, complex relationship that develops between him and Delia. I can't remember the last time I was rooting for a couple this hard. You know, the kind where you're dying for them to get together already but the build-up is a slow burn and by the time they're about to get together, something comes between them and suddenly your heart is beating madly because they have to end up together and you're itching to skim the rest of the pages just to see how it ends - yeah, that's how hard I shipped them. Mhairi McFarlane has done such a fab job, not just in creating wonderful characters, but also writing a hilariously entertaining story that had so much going on with every chapter and that kept me on my reading toes the whole way through. Easily my best read of the month.

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