2015; A Snapshot & 2016; The Promises
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| "This year has been a massive split between the worst year of my life and the best year of my life"
Truer words have never been spoken. When I look back on my 2015, there's an invisible line that splits it, a huge divide that separates Jan-Sept - in which some incredible things happened to me - from the last few months of the year which truthfully, have been some of my most challenging. It was a pretty big year, a stand-out one that holds momentous highs and rock-bottom lows, without which my life would have taken a different turn altogether.
I achieved some amazing personal triumphs and naturally, my proudest moment was graduating. I experienced some truly amazing highlights: I travelled to Anfield to watch Liverpool play for the first time and was fortunate enough to later visit again for Gerrard's testimonial game; I fell in love with Rome and experienced an undeniably beautiful country and culture; and I made some wonderful memories with some beautiful people.
It felt like life was falling into place.
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2015; my year in review |
I then found myself facing my greatest challenge to date; finding out, maybe a little too late, that my heart truly lies with biochemistry and it's what I want my future career to revolve around. I figured out, a little too late, what my dream career is. I couldn't possibly have known it at seventeen, but here I am, finally knowing what I honestly want from life, and trapped because I dived head-first into optometry without even pausing to think about it. I guess I'm still at a crossroads. I could still go either way; carry it on, or throw caution to the wind, drop out, and fight for the career that I wish I could have known I wanted a few months earlier. And so, my one and only resolution for 2016 is to figure that shit out and just do it.
We could make lists and goals and endless aims for the new year, but the truth is, in a few weeks time (or months if you're lucky), they'll be thrown out the window. Because we are swamped by old habits and governed by routine. When that clock struck midnight on New Year's Eve, we simply transitioned from December into January, shifted from Thursday to Friday, veered forward into a new countdown of 366 alternations of night and day. We're still doing the same things on January 1st that we did on December 31st. We don't suddenly wake up with fresh inspiration and a changed outlook on life overnight. We don't suddenly automatically make a hundred changes to our life just because the date has changed. But every year is the sum of choices, or decisions, or moments that will ultimately make your life. There will always be some pivotal moments, some stand-out turning points that if you went back to change, you'd change the course of your life in a heartbeat. And I guess I'm saying that I want to make the right life-changing decision this year. Because it will change everything. And God does it terrify me to my bones but if I don't do it now, I'll regret it for as long as I live.
Then, there are the small things. Hobbies, personal interests, things I love doing that I don't give time to and I wish I did. And if there was one other "goal" I were to say I have for 2016, it's to just channel my energy into doing what I love. Like spontaneously reading books without a Goodreads goal this year. Or baking randomly on weekends just because I can. Or carrying on with those scrapbooks that I started once upon a time. Or re-visit, re-hash, re-invent those Wattpad stories I started but never finished.
Maybe I'll do all of that. Maybe I'll do none of it. I don't know. But I do know that I'll do my damned hardest to make 2016 a good year and a hell of a lot better than what I imagine it to be.
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