Graduation

I wish I could rewind to Thursday, freeze time and remain suspended in the perfect moments that were my graduation.

You know, you could speak to every graduate out there and I bet they could detail their graduation for you from start to finish. No, they may not remember the speeches because naturally, they had a momentary lapse of attention for those 40 minutes but yes, they will tell you what the weather was like and how their parents cried and how it was the most momentous day of their life. I have joined that crowd. And I can also bet that if I were to meticulously fill you in on how mine went, it still wouldn't ready you for your own. It could not possibly compare to how you will feel when the time comes, nor could it do it justice.

I'm not going to lie, the nerves were there the night before. Or rather, the crippling fear of tripping on stage, or having a bad hair day, or having my dress rip in a rather awkward place at the worst time, kept me awake for a long time. Anything and everything that could possibly go wrong, was playing through my head. I worried that I wouldn't be able to gracefully carry myself in a grad gown (I am after all the biggest klutz this world has seen) and I fretted that my pictures would turn out awful. I even considered opting out of the professional photo because hey, who wants a pro graduation photo in which they look like a cross-eyed hobo? Forcing myself to stay calm proved a bigger challenge than I had anticipated.

But sleep I did and before I knew it, morning was upon us and we were at uni collecting my gown and having my cap fitted and walking to De Montfort Hall, impatiently waiting for the doors to open. The ceremony was as monotonous as I had been warned it would be, but it was nice to see my course mates and of course, my close friends being called up to officially be named a graduate. And then it was me climbing the stairs and going forward as my name was called, shaking the Chancellor's hand and walking back down to my seat, now a medical biochemist. Surreal doesn't quite cut it. Being handed a piece of paper that dictates the rest of your life, that's something that nothing can prepare you for.

It was over as soon as it had begun, and we were out in the streaming sunlight - we got a beautiful day - hugging our parents and taking awesome cap-toss pictures as well as the slightly emotional family shots. We took the obligatory last-time-we'll-be-together pictures with the friends that helped us survive uni, and yep, I caved and had the professional shots taken too. It felt weirdly good to be back on campus in the company of people I wish I had more time with and wandering around in a daze of elation and happiness.

The sense of achievement is unlike any other. Knowing that every moment up until that day, every step on the academic ladder, everything you have ever worked towards, has led up to this day that you've been dreaming of your whole life, fills you with a sense of pride that you will rarely, if ever, feel again. It's overwhelming to look back and think that that single moment, the defining moment of my career and life, is the sum of the little successes and mishaps that shaped my education. And to share it with my parents who have sacrificed their whole lives for me, and my brother who I hope looks up to me and will one day achieve something even greater, is indescribable.

I have lost a small hold on student life, the naivety of a 17 year old, the easy confusion of an 18 year old, and the laid-back attitude of a 19 year old. As much as I hate to say it, I have said goodbye to the University of Leicester and ready to say hello to Aston University. My student card is no longer valid, my library card no longer gives me access to my home for the last three years, and the word "graduate" fills me with a cold dread. In a way, my uni life is indeed over. Although my academic journey is far from over, I am no longer a student in the fresh, innocent sense of the word. I feel like that term no longer belongs to me, it is no longer the same. It's inevitable that my next uni challenge will be a far cry from the first - I don't think it'll ever match up. As they say, the "first" of anything is special in its own right.

So here I am, woefully reminiscing of the last three years that have flown by, and wistfully wishing that I could re-live the happiest day of my life.

GRAD - Kizoa Video Maker