The Taste of Freedom

I AM EXAM FREE. As of seven days.

(This post seems a little too belated but you know what, it wouldn't feel right not posting about freedom after ranting about exams one time too many).

It's a bitter-sweet taste. There's the obvious reprieve in not having to wake up in the early hours of the morning for another monotonous exam-based routine, in the escape from seven weeks of brain torture and being able to sleep (and wake up) whenever I like with zero worries.

I officially became a free woman last Wednesday evening and it felt AMAZING. It was a tough exam period, I'm not going to lie, and towards the end, I think it's safe to say that I was drained and exhausted beyond belief. I was so relieved, I couldn't even care about how well I have (or have not) done. I spent the following day in town with the younger brother buying the six odd graduation gifts I have to have perfected and wrapped come this Sunday; I then spent Friday with the uni lot having a last meal and trying to wrap my head around the fact that I'm not going to see them again. I've gotten so used to seeing them day and day out for three years, being able to rely on them feeling the confusion and stress that inevitable came with this degree, and tackling every assignment together, that it still feels surreal that this is it. And then on Saturday, I attended one of my close friends' graduation before celebrating my 21st with a slightly belated birthday party with the family. I was also casually indulging in retail therapy meanwhile and by retail therapy, I mean buying a bunch of books that I have a) no money for and b) no bookshelf space for but ah what the heck. I mean, they're books.

I'm super excited for this weekend too! I have an upcoming sleepover at my aunty's which is always a post-exam highlight for me, I'm off to see the grandparents, and I have a "graduation party" this weekend with the high school lot which is going to be as epic as it always is when we get together.

It's weird though - I'm missing revising. And I always feel this. It's like some kind of withdrawal kicks in within days. It's the feeling of productivity and routine that's lost, and this is going to sound crazy, but I feel less stressed when I'm revising. Maybe it's because I literally only have to focus on one thing and I can block out people and social media, and just life. And also because I've spent the last seven years preparing for exams that count that it's now become an innate thing that I can't let go of.

So I'm counting my lucky stars that for me, this isn't it. Not officially anyway. I can't see myself not studying, not for a long time. I sound mental, I know. I can hear you all thinking it.

*facepalm*